This is not a rant blog; this is about what I think is most important to concentrate on in the here and now

I had thought long and hard about posting my thoughts online.
"Do I really want to?"
"Do I have anything truly worthy to say?"
"Does what I think and feel have any relevance to help any others?"

A few questions I have asked myself many times over and over. I have always wanted to be more than what I have allowed myself to be. I know there has always been more to me than just the facade that most that have encountered me to be in person.

I will admit though I am not the most enthusiastic person you could meet; I'm more of a church mouse than some rebel rouser, I am definitely a man with a lot of passion for what he believes in, whatever those things are in my life that have me beguiled.

I feel that writing out my feelings about life and how it should be lead are definitely worthy of an audience to read, re-read and consider "maybe this could apply to me?"
As I have wrote in my blog title description, "I am by no means a scholar nor an expert" but I am a survivor, a fighter, a person that doesn't give up when I think the chips are stacked against him. I don't believe in that mentality "It's me against the world" For me, "it's the world and all it's beauty and ugliness that is for me" so I can learn and grow as an individual.

I currently work in the insurance service industry and I have been doing so for almost 15 years now.
I can say that I have been pulled every which but loose in my various jobs within the line of work I have been doing.
I cannot say that I did not allow myself to be in my current status in life. I do believe that we do put ourselves in places where we need to be challenged. Sometimes these positions are places where do not want to be in at all.
For myself, it was having to learn to become assertive and forceful but in a most tactful manner that I have learned doing what I have been doing in my current line of work. I think to a point that once one has gained enough of the lesson and learned knowledge of what they needed to learn in that specific area in for our live that they must take that knowledge & life experience and MOVE ON.
We must MOVE ON to other things, other challenges in this life. We must move on or if we do not, in a subtle but dull painless way, we truly die as individuals.
Some things I may write here will come across as possibly or most probably as "preachy" "cliche" or even thought and said out aloud "I have heard that before, whatever!"
But as somethings in life, we move at different rates of speed in how we progress in our lives. We all do not get to the sames places we want to be at the same time. Sometimes some of can and do get to the point where we are most satisfied and for others, well, they are still in the process of getting to that place and it's a bumpy ride, to say the least.

As I have gotten older and wiser (I would like to think and believe no doubt), I am really realizing the importance of being "authentically" myself.

Some people could probably careless about the thought of becoming "authentically" themselves. Some think and feel "I'm already there. This is me. Take it or leave it!"

Well, folks, depending on the extent of your happiness or lack thereof (some will know this is true if you ask yourself this). You might or may be as content or happy as you might think you are.
But do allow yourself this question to cross your mind "Am I truly happy and am I being "authentically" myself?"
You must really dig deep into yourself to get this answer and do let whatever comes up, come out.
Then allow yourself to think about it, say it out aloud or write it down on a piece of paper or even better, type into a word document. After you wrote it, put it away and then come back to it later in the day or maybe the next day or week from now. But come back to it and then see how you are feeling right then  and then read what you wrote. It can be rather amazing how what you thought about yourself might totally be off kilter from what you really know about yourself deep down inside in that exact moment you over a week ago, a month ago, a day ago after reading what you wrote down.

"Are you to a point being "authentically" whom you are and want to be?"

That's an important question to ask one's self.  If you can honestly answer that question and feel satisfied with the answer; good. For me personally, I'm never satisfied. "But is to become satisfied enough?" Yes and no. It all depends. I'll go into more in detail soon.
But if you can answer that question and you have this nagging feeling that you may not be up to your true potential of as a human being in this life right now; then by all means continue to read on. I want to share with you my thoughts, feelings and insights from my perspective. I really feel I have some important things to say, even if some of what I will write about has been said before. As Shakespeare once wrote "there is nothing new under the sun" and so true that is. But I feel it's always worth repeating important things that we might all take for granted. I know for me, personally, I have taken granted of a lot of good things I have had or currently have in my life. Now I see them for what they are and I cherish them more; people, material items, friends, just the thought that I am loved in this very moment.

"Do I have the ability to be more than what I am right now?"

I would say with absolute honesty "YES!"  I feel that as people of this universe that we live in; we are so capable of loving more, giving more to others and truly loving ourselves more (THEE MOST PARAMOUNT OF ALL).
The thought that some of us, me included, berating ourselves for things in our lives that are beyond our control, didn't do, should've done, etc...  just pains me. I know this all too well, the berating of myself for what I am not. But I know that I cannot continue to allow this to be for my own well-being anymore. It's a true soul crusher. Do not allow you or anyone to crush your soul.
We all were most likely brought up in families with mind sets that you need to be "here" or "there" at this certain age or stage of your life. And if you're not, "you're a failure" This is truly some bad horrific thoughts and feelings one can bestow upon themselves.
In this life, some do get the chance to fulfill that dream while a lot of us do not.  At least, not yet.
Most of us, we're still getting there. Some may get there and some of us may not. Life isn't fair but it doesn't have to be a burden to endure either.
But if we can only allow ourselves a complete break from that very agonizing, useless thought "I should be here at this age, why am I not?" then we can free ourselves of the chains that have honestly held us back from being "authentically" ourselves. For that question which has so agonized us for so long, has held us back. Being held back is something I do not respond well to and I'm sure most of you agree, it really pisses the hell out of you too.

So once again, I want to invite you all into my world of thoughts and feelings about how I feel life should be lead. I think I have grown more as a person deeply by my mistakes, miss-haps and missteps, becoming more "authentically" myself; which to me is PARAMOUNT. Making errors in life is learning and growing. Nobody is perfect and to know that truth is absolutely WONDERFUL. We are all not alone in this life thinking "Oh this person is perfect, they have it all" Well, dear ones, "They do not" There will always be something that most of us think that others have and in some areas that we do not know of, they, too, are lacking. I will discuss this more soon and in more detail later on. I have a lot to say on this particular subject.

Now getting back to what I want to say here, if we do not allow ourselves, OUR god-given/universe-given/whatever your belief system is-given, RIGHT; then "why even bother to consider moving onwards with this journey we call life?" (I hate using the word "journey" since it's so over used now it's not funny but let me use it here, behoove me that right to use a word that makes me what to projectile vomit truth be told. I will think of a better word to use instead soon).

So folks, come (again I invite you) and follow me into my many days, weeks, months and years upcoming into my belief system.

I am "no religion", "I am no leader", "I am not perfect" but "I am trying and being more "authentically" myself" just writing what I feel right in this very moment. For this moment right now is all that we truly have.  Always remember that as people we all aspire to each and every day to be what we want to be like I do and struggle with as well.
No one is putting a gun to your head telling you to change your life right here and now. No one is saying to you will perish if you do not go in a particular direction in life, at least I will not tell you that.
But I will tell you what I have learned so far and what I really think we need to concentrate more on.

Being more "authentically" ourselves.

I give you my peace, love and admiration because you're all worthy of it.

Most sincerely,
Armando